Intentional Imperfection

Intentional Imperfection?

My scientific (intellectual) and holistic/artistic (intuitive) selves have been in a slow struggle for quite a while – a struggle between getting things ‘perfect’ and getting things done (in a timely fashion or at all).

And I know I’m not alone in this.

I’ve always been a confusing mixture of Type A/Perfectionist and Carefree/Heart-Centered, constantly working to cultivate the latter because, as you know if you’re even in small part Perfectionist, that’s not going anywhere anytime soon.  Perfectionism doesn’t need protection. {It’s sort of like being 50% Italian – it tends to take over, no matter what else is going on in there.}

Right, so, I often find myself saying, “Self, it’s good enough.  Just send it.” Still, where’s my “E is for…” post here on the blog? It’s way overdue. I’ve written and re-written it in my head and on paper several times.  So much (self-imposed) pressure.  Should E stand for empathy, engage, empower, enhance, elation, emote, envision, ecstatic, or…? Enough! You get the picture.  Those of us with this particular affliction need something – constant reminders, proof!, just the right mantra? – to keep us on the “good enough” track.

Today I stumbled on an anecdote that could do the trick. I remembered hearing that quilters (and other artists) have traditionally incorporated an intentional flaw into each quilt as proof that the piece is unique and handmade.  I’ve always loved that idea, and it got me thinking.

How is it that I can love the ‘flaws’ of others, but reject them in myself? 

What if the goal became intentional imperfection? 

What if we decided to strive for ‘fabulously flawed’?

I know, I know… here’s what the Perfectionist voice peeps up with in response to that: “But, but…I don’t want to become lackadaisical. What if I become lazy and TOO flawed?”  Here’s the beauty of being part-Perfectionist.  You never ever will.  It’s one of the core fibers of your being.

An analogy might help drive it all home.  My wonderful primary care physician once told me that I need to let go of guilt, that it’s not serving me.  My reaction?  No kidding!  And, oh, by the way, that’s impossible.  We tend to throw around the phrase “let it go”, but it’s an idea that seems intangible for those of us who are very much in our head.  My doc went on to say, “Whenever you feel guilt come up, acknowledge it.  Tell yourself, ‘oh, that’s guilt. I don’t need that.’” {Right, right, I’ve heard this before.  NOT gonna work.}  But she continued with this little nugget, “… Guilt means you care.”

So simple, but that was the game-changer for me. 

Transform the ‘negative’ feeling into something comforting and positive.  That’s how you can Let. It. Go.

So, what does this have to do with Perfectionism?  Once I checked in with myself and acknowledged that I will always be a person who cares deeply, it became easier to ‘let go’ of the guilty feelings when they arise. And so, the guilt has largely let go of me.  Similarly, once you realize that innate perfectionism means that you care about the quality of everything you put out into the world, you can let go of it. And, Perfectionism will loosen its tight grip on you too, which will make it easier to

be creative and share your work and your gifts with the world.

Sometimes flaws are just frustrating (like typos in our writings that we cannot let go of) but

flaws are also symbols of our uniqueness and ‘proof’ that we’re homemade. 

Be flawed.   {Intention: Imperfection.}